What happens when we talk?

Filed in Solese Blog by on January 18, 2018 0 Comments

It is a ritual. It is something that takes place daily. It starts when we are young. We learn to speak. We learn to identify objects. Later on, when we try to share what we feel, it’s unidentifiable. Not only would I have a hard time putting it to words, but the person I am speaking with would be lost and impatient for me to find them.

We all experience growing pains, and this would be one of them. Finding ways to communicate what we feel to someone else may not be shareable to them just based on if it feels bad or good! We all know what it is like to hear people talk about what disgusts or hurts them or maybe put up a wall of bias by the way a person looks foreign to your ability to comprehend.

Okay, along the way we realize all of this and learn to discuss feelings without actually sharing them. Is this possible? Yes, of course we can. All it takes is allowing the paradox of life to exist. I call it celebrating diversity. In any case, we just take away the person or thing we think is doing it to us and whala…it now becomes about a feeling and not a person, place or thing. It’s true, I do it…I catch myself thinking someone hurt me. I know they didn’t, but why did I feel fine a minute ago, and after they shared with me I felt sick. Well, whatever it is they shared did not agree with me. What does this say about us…about me?

I want to share what this means to me. Yes, it may hurt, but remember, I am not the one hurting you:

As a race, we share our words back and forth. Some are attached to how we feel and some are not. If a person wants to share how they feel they would work on their conscious language to do so. Others want to keep their insides private so as not to expose themselves to hurt. With this being said it is important to notice that varying degrees of people have varying degrees of sharing. Polarity, opposites, and everything in between exists and the task at hand is to know we have everything in this universe…or life. It is important to know that you think and feel however you think and feel at this very moment because of where you stand in life at this very moment. The only thing to ask myself is…Do I want to know where you are or what you think?

When I ask someone a question, do I want to politely allow them to respond and keep a wall up so it does not flow through me?…or do I ask someone a question, listen, and ask more questions to understand where they are standing and what we can truly share. At this point I am not taking the responsibility of the person I am speaking with, I am simply wanting to know and understand them from a mirroring standpoint. I am everyone and everyone is me, it is just all relative to where we are at the time. The most important thing of all, though, is to allow a person, any person, to be responsible and speak what they think and feel. If they do not know, let it be. Make an effort to understand where they come from. When or if it impedes on your freedom, tell them so they will understand and courteously walk on.

We all have the right to be who we are and be free as long as we allow the same for others. When we feel we deserve more or less than others, we will receive back the hurt that is driving it.

Are you unpacking or compacting…your subconscious is listening?

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